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One of my favorite images of him has always been the way he pounced on me and a couple of other graduate school friends in one of Iowa City's hamburger joints (I think it was Mickey's) one day, because, we figured in retrospect, he was probably working on a deadline for an article and needed to jump start the difficult process of writing. He really seemed to be asking for help and the cheerful way that he gently commandeered us as we ate burgers and fries stands out in my mind as one of the most collegial gestures I have ever experienced. The openness and un-self-conscious way that he listened to us and took our ideas seriously was real and seemed part of the way that he looked at the world--free of moral or prejudicial judgment, but with a sharp wit and keen critical reading of everyone and everything. It's difficult to describe the loss of this kind of person.

---Rachel Bohlmann, former TA for Ken

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Well, today was pretty interesting. I�learned that, playing the flute can actually help you with french kissing. ROFL. So well, as usual, after Flute, We went for lunch down at the club. And here comes the funny part.. We were trapped in the car park behind some dudeapos;s car, which had been parked illegally. So we asked around for the dude, cause Nish was late for her class. Turns out the dude was having a massage down at the spa. And we were actually told by the spa people, that we had to WAIT. How outrageous�Can you imagine anyone having the audacity to tell US to wait?�I�know right�HAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah, well, anyways, we had to wait. So we all stood around in the middle of the car park and talked. And Nisha got impatient so, Dad told the lady, that weapos;d call the cops. And the lady freaked out and told the dude, who came rushing out in a bath robe. And Arshvin burst out laughing. Man, How malu for that dude�HAHAHAHA. Later, at about 4, Iapos;ve got to go take cool shots of Arshvin as he plays basketball, cause heapos;s finally tall enough to make a slam dunk. HAHA�Heck,�Least I get to go play some basketball. Just hoping the courts not too crowded(:

FURTHER NEWS UPDATES AS EVENTS WARRANT�:D
(Gosh, Iapos;ve always wanted to say that�HAHAHAHA)

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Ok, so i havenapos;t been on for three days... So lets see...

well, on tuesday, i got a demerit for accidently giggling a little over the PA when i had to say afternoon prayers. See, what happened was, well, to get the thing to work, you have to press intercom *70. Well, thereapos;s to intercom buttons.� i pressed one, and i said to the other kid who does prayers with me " o no, i think i pressed the wrong button" well, he bursts out laughing, which made me laugh, and i tried to shake the giggles, but it wasnapos;t too succesful. Plus i was pretty nervous, which didnapos;t help either.�i mean, i didnapos;t outright laugh, but i kept thinking about it, which made me giggle. Geez, you would have thought i was some sort of god-hater, the way the teacher spoke to me. Of course, the next day she didnapos;t really say anything, but itapos;s still lingering around with the other teachers..... The worst part was the other kid was able to keep his cool, so he didnapos;t get yelled at -.-

as for wednesday, nobody�was able to finish the social studies thing we were supposed to do in computers, so weapos;re gonna finish it next week, which is good ^^

and today, well, the new girl that nobody really likes said something bitchy to one of our friends, so my other friends got all up in her face XD. Actually, almost everybody from the 8th and 7th grade got invovled, and they were on our side, which was good. I donapos;t even know why she said that to her though. Sheapos;s got an attitude problem though, thatapos;s for sure. And she doesnapos;t look like she tries to keep very clean.

also, for most of the day i supposed i was pretty depressed. My dad yelled at as for no good reason. He does that a lot, and itapos;s not just like for a minute either. Theyapos;re usually pretty drawn out, and what he says�is pretty hurtful. Geez, i used to be able to take it relativley well, but the last few times its happened i felt differently about it then normal.�like before, it would happen, but then afterwards i wouldnapos;t really think about them or feel anything about it. Well, iapos;ve been hurt by what heapos;s said, but now they really get to my phsyche. Christ, i mean, i would never kill myself, but iapos;ve thought about seriously running away just so i donapos;t end up doing something really bad, thatapos;s how bad theyapos;re getting to me now. I donapos;t know if iapos;d ever have the nerve to do it, though. If i was 18 this would be so much easier...
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Well I have decided i am going to try again to stop cutting.
and as a part of the healing process i am going to write about my addiction and what it is doing to myself and the people whom i love and love me back... Im not to sure yet but ill probly have to make it in parts .. It might be pretty long . .you know me i always end up writing alot ..
Well .. Where to start?
well my addcition ... Cutting .�Most people think that people cut for attention .. But the truth is not everyone does here is the reasons i believe people cut
1)attention
2)to take away the pain
3) to see if they can still feel
4)they want to die .

now my addiction i would say im a 2 and a 3... You see most people wouldnt understand why you would cause pain to take away pain.
its kind of hard to explain its not physical pain . I feel .its emotional .. Its like why would u fall in love ..only to get your heart broken . You know the consiquences yet .you still do it .
3. To see if i can still feel . Sometimes i get to the poin of feeling so numb .. Or just not carin i want to kno if i can still feel anything at all so i cut to see if i can . Most times when i cut i dont feel anything at all . Wich leads to cutting between 30-90 times in a row ..
i have stopped before but apperently i am not strong enought to not cut anymore..
i think of my addiciton much like any other suck as weed,drinkin crack . Or anyother .
see when i as a cutter do not cut its all i think about all day.
sometimes causing me to get more depressed. Sometimes will even do anything i can to cut..
telling lies like i need to use the washroom just so i can go into the washroom to cut..
sometimes if there is nothing around to cut with it will result in breaking things such as mirrors,cds, anything i can use to make a sharp edge.i kno it might sound pretty fucked up to most people who dont understand .. But to me it something i have done for so long that its how i have learned to deal ..
deal with anger,hurt,life, any situation .
most people just thing that cutters need help and true most of us do .. But we need to want the help to get the help .
and right now i am william to take the help .i want to stop

well i already see i am going to need to make a part two maybe another day..

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